


I'll Not Be A Gentleman

by leoandpavelplaydoctor (blueharlequin)



Series: Ratios [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bad Touch, Banter, Creeper Peter, Ephebophilia, Frottage, Groping, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Oblivious Derek, Oblivious Scott, Sarcasm, Sarcastic Stiles, Sassy Peter, Sheriff Stilinski Knows, Slash, Snark, Spot the Other Fandoms, Stalking, Stiles Stilinski is Sixteen Years Old, Triggers, but not by Peter!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2013-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-15 08:46:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/847577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueharlequin/pseuds/leoandpavelplaydoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Peter's creeperific tendencies surprised Stiles and the one time the teen surprised him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Not Be A Gentleman

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is my first five times fic and I'm new to this fandom. Yipes, I hope it's entertaining. Credit for the title goes to the Toadies and is from the song "Possum Kingdom." The attempted rape (not by Peter!) is very brief but I'm warning for triggers just to be safe

I. Flirtation

Stiles was at the library doing research when Peter appeared behind him in the slightly dim aisle. The yelp he let out as he fell to the ground had several patrons hissing at him. “Peter! What the hell?” he whisper-shouted as he picked himself off the floor.

The wolf grinned as he plucked the book Stiles had been looking for off the shelf. “I just came to see if you needed any help. For you to resort to the paper material versus the vast electronic frontier is rather disturbing. Also it can be so dull hanging around my nephew sometimes, I needed a break from all the ‘man-pain’ as you teens so like to call it.

Stiles couldn’t help it if he smiled in response to that statement. He quickly wiped the expression from his face as Peter raised an eyebrow in response. The wolf trailed after him, occasionally standing too close or brushing up against him as he scoured the shelves for what he was looking for. The teen was about to snap at him the fourth time Peter grabbed a book he needed before Stiles could get to it. However, as soon as the annoyance became too much, the older man darted down an adjacent aisle.

With a sigh of relief, Stiles carried his mound of books to a nearby table and got to work. A few minutes later, Peter sat down across from him. After about an hour of relative silence Stiles looked up from his research to find the older man staring at him from over the top of a book. He ducked his head back down but the relentless gaze had him twitching and fidgeting. He closed the book he was reading with a huff of aggravation and looked to see what the werewolf was pretending to be engrossed in. “Wait, what are you reading? Is that Naked Heat?” Stiles stared at the bestselling author’s book cradled in Peter’s hands.

“Yes, I find it very amusing. The love interest absolutely loathes the man at first, then grows to like him.”

Stiles frowned at him in response to that. “I thought you were here to help?” The young man grumbled in exasperation.

“I am helping. I’m making sure you don’t find some striking piece of information then go off on your own to investigate it.”

Stiles growled, “Derek sent you here to _babysit_ me?”

The beta gave him a wolfish grin, “No, my nephew wouldn’t think that far ahead. I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to enjoy your delightful presence. However, if you want to think about it as babysitting, then I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to sit on my lap while I read you a story.” He picked up one of the research books and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“You are such a paedophile. I should scream ‘bad touch’ and have you arrested right here.” Stiles groused as he grabbed another book from the pile. Peter just smiled indulgently and opened his book.

* * *

II. Coffee

Stiles watched in slow motion as his coffee splashed over the front of his shirt. “Oh my god! Would you _stop_ with the appearing out of nowhere act? Really? Of all the coffee shops? It just had to be this one?”

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” The werewolf grabbed a few napkins and began “patting” down the teen’s chest.

Stiles batted his hands away as the touching graduated from helpful to inappropriate. “Stop trying to cop a feel you pervert, there’s no coffee down there! You owe me a drink. To answer your question, it’s weird because this coffee shop is all the way across town? Maybe, because I know that you have one a block away from your apartment?”

“The coffee here is superior.” The older man smirked, “Aww, I didn’t realise you’ve been hanging around my neighbourhood. Miss me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.  There are only three non-chain coffee shops in the whole town; of course I know where they are.” Stiles got back in line to get himself another drink. A very tall man in front of him ordered coffee and oddly asked if they had any pie before paying and moving to the other end of the counter. Peter frowned at him for a few moments before he cut in front of Stiles and gave their order.

“Why am I not surprised you know how I like my coffee?” Stiles crossed his arms as he plopped down at a table near the pickup counter. He rolled his eyes when Peter flashed his human teeth in a parody of a grin as he got up to retrieve their order. The teen was about to grab his drink and beat feet it out of there when he realised that Peter had ordered in. Stiles made an unintelligible noise of irritation when the older man placed the large ceramic cups on the table along with a plate of cookies. He grabbed one from the plate, “What? Trying to bring me over to the dark side?”

Peter deadpanned, “You know we lie, there aren’t any over here.”

The teen almost spit up his coffee at the witty retort. He gaped at the werewolf for a moment before gathering his wits up. At a loss for anything to say back he gestured to the coffee. “So is it really a coincidence or are you…?”

“I am most definitely following you. I got bored.” Stiles stared. Peter sipped his espresso and stared back.

“That’s it?” Stiles fiddled with the handle of his cup as his other hand squashed a cookie crumble into smaller and smaller bits.

“That is it.” The wolf smiled banally as if that explained everything.

“Why me? Shouldn’t you be following Scott around or plotting against Derek or something?” The younger man looked out the window; blatantly trying to avoid the intent look directed his way.

Peter licked his lips like the predator he was and Stiles could feel the older man’s gaze hot upon him. It felt like it was sliding underneath his clothes and caressing his skin. The former alpha replied, “You’re interesting.”

Stiles blushed a deep red. “Oh.”

 

* * *

III. Dinner

“What on Earth are you buying?”

Stiles almost crashed into the display next to him; as it was, he flailed wildly and nearly pulled the cart down on top of him. “What are _you_ doing here?”

“Stiles, not all of us are savages. As much as fresh venison is so tasty, I do have a discerning palate.” The teen looked into the basket he was holding, observing a few wine bottles, fresh cheeses and cured meats.

“It figures you would be a food snob.” He turned away from the older man and pointedly ignored him as he perused the offerings of the Whole Foods produce section.

“I wasn’t aware you were so concerned with your health that you shopped here.” Peter trailed after him as he wheeled his way down the aisle. “Your consistent consumption of pizza and Chinese takeout at pack meetings makes this a surprise.”

“Not for me,” Stiles murmured under his breath as he read the label on a carton of tofu. “Dad needs to watch his diet.” The young man shook his head and put the item back in the cold case. Stiles heart jumped into his throat as he once again found Peter hovering in his personal space. “Bad Wolf!” he cried, mock swatting at the man.

“Yes, that is why I am everywhere.” Peter replied offhandedly. Stiles griped under his breath about the _‘unfortunate lack of a blue box to escape into’_ before he was interrupted. “Do you even know how to cook any of this?” the former alpha whispered, his breath tickling the back of Stiles’ ear and causing gooseflesh along his arms.

“Whoa. That’s freaky. Could you lurk anymore than that?” The teen sidled out from where he was trapped between Peter and the shelf. “I cook. I’ll figure it out.”

Peter stalked him as he strolled over to the frozen foods. “Hmm, that won’t do. Fine foods like this shouldn’t go to waste on test recipes.” Stiles stopped and leaned against the handle of the cart.  He obviously wasn’t going to get away until Peter made his point so he might as well wait until the older man was done. The wolf crowded up to him, inappropriately pressing him against the glass of a freezer door. “Why don’t you come over to my apartment and I will make you a vegetarian lasagne. You can watch how I do it and try it on your own later.”

Stiles rolled his eyes then paused, “Wait. Did you just ask me to have dinner with you?”

Peter graced him with a smug grin, “I might have.” The beta walked away. Stopping at the end of the aisle he turned and said, “Friday at 6. I know you don’t have practice and the sheriff has the night shift.”

He disappeared around the corner as Stiles swore under his breath, “Damn stalker!”

_-That Friday-_

Sometime around five Derek knocked on his door. Peter opened it with a frown, “What are you doing here?”

His nephew growled, “Is there a reason _Stiles_ couldn’t deliver this ‘magic box’ himself?” He thrust the item at Peter like it was going to burn him. “I can’t tell what it is.”

“What did he say?” the elder wolf took it and set it on the countertop.

“He said it was for something he was practicing and that you would know what it was.” The alpha was out the door before his uncle could get anything else out of him.

Peter didn’t recall any magic they were researching at the moment that would require a nullifying container. He traced his fingers along the edge and the top popped open. A wry chuckle escaped his lips as the smell from the contents of the box assailed his nose. He slipped a note out from under the plate the lasagne was sitting on.

_-I figured it out_

* * *

IV. Movie

Stiles looked at his phone again.

**_Scott:_ **

**_– I’m SO sorry! Allison called and she wants to “talk” –_ **

Scott had ditched him again, for Allison; for the third time that week no less. Stiles was sure that if he waited another twenty minutes Scott would text back saying she had changed her mind, again; and that she didn’t want to see him. He wasn’t about to wait around for that, he had already bought his ticket so, hell he was going in alone if he had to. The teen turned abruptly and almost ran into the body that had appeared before him. “Wha...? Gah! Peter! What are you doing here?”

The older man looked at him mildly. “I go to the movies like everyone else.”

Stiles huffed, “What are you here to see?” The werewolf handed him his ticket and Stiles ground his teeth in displeasure. “Really?”

“It’s always been one of my favourite shows. Plus the navigator pleasantly reminds me of someone; energetic, smart... young.” Peter practically rolled the last word off of his tongue.

“Creeper,” Stiles muttered under breath. “You are so buying me some popcorn.” The older man smirked in amusement and gestured to the concession stand.

At some point in between sitting down and the final preview Peter managed to flip up the armrest separating them. Stiles thinks he did it while he was occupied turning his phone off. At the younger man’s dubious expression he muttered, ‘popcorn accessibility’ and placed the tub between them. Somewhere during the middle of the movie the empty container was placed on the floor and Stiles was dimly aware of the heat radiating from the arm against his. His awareness snapped back when a warm hand rested on his knee. He tilted his head sideways briefly and gave the older man a murderous look. Peter smirked and turned back to the movie. Stiles ignored the hand but it became increasingly hard to concentrate after that. Stiles didn’t know if it was stubbornness or curiosity but he wanted to see how far Peter was going to take it. Part of his brain refused to examine why he was beginning to be okay with this. _This_ being an impromptu date with _Peter Hale_ of all people and the fact that every few moments his hand would slide slowly up his leg.

Stiles drew in a shaky breath as the older man’s hand rested at the juncture of his thigh and hip, his fingertips lightly brushing the outline of his cock. And that was when Stiles almost freaked out, he was _hard_. Biting his lip he tried to concentrate on the movie, they were fighting on top of a moving vehicle and... and... Stiles cast a sidelong glance at Peter. The werewolf was sitting calmly, watching the show with no indication he was feeling up the young man next to him. The credits began to roll and Peter removed his hand. He leaned over and _licked_ the young man behind his ear then asked, “So how did you like the movie?”

Stiles jumped up and levelled a deadly glare at him. “Thanks for the popcorn,” he snapped. As he walked away he grumbled, “I think you owe me another movie too.” Even though he was almost at the end of the row of seats he heard Peter chuckle. Looking back he saw the older man smile and wave. He ruefully conceded that he had let Peter know that he had gotten to him. Then while he was climbing into his Jeep, Stiles flushed with embarrassment because he realised he just asked the man out.

* * *

V. Clubbing

It’s darker in this club than the one they found Danny at; it was easier to get in as well. Also one town over as not to run into anyone they know. Scott is on the dance floor trying to live it up without Allison. Soda in hand, Stiles leaned against the bar and absentmindedly nodded to some dude in a pineapple decorated Hawaiian shirt who was drinking a pina colada. He’s only half paying attention to the stream of speech coming from the guy but he thought he heard him go on about his dog Lassie and how they are there to solve a mystery.

Moments later, Stiles jumped as Peter appeared at his elbow. The older man leered as he noted the tight shirt and pants the young man was sporting. “Dude you okay?” The man in the colourful shirt asked as he looked at Peter with too much interest.

“I’m fine. My stalker has shown up so my night is now complete. See he’s even got the pedo-stache to prove it.” Stiles lolled his head in disgust. “This is very cliché. Next he’s going to want to dance.”

The wolf’s chuckle rumbled in his ears, “I thought you’d never ask. That is a very fetching ensemble you are wearing.” The older man tugged Stiles toward the dance floor and the teen barely resisted, at this juncture he thought ‘what was the point?’ The young man figured he would deal with it like everything else and just go with the flow.

As they moved on the dance floor the teen figured out Peter was slowly guiding him towards a dark corner. Stiles thought his eyes were going to roll out of his head at this revelation. He stopped, “Yeah, here is far enough.” Peter smirked and pulled him obscenely close. “Hey! Watch the hands you lecherous zombie!” He pulled the older man’s hands off his ass and repositioned them on his waist.

Peter grinded against him and mock whispered into his ear, “How can I live up to the names you are calling me if I can’t touch? I want to play grab-ass with you but you won’t let me _grab_ your _ass_.” With the last sentence Peter backed him up to the wall and Stiles realised with some resignation that the man had distracted him long enough to actually get them into the dark corner. He gasped as the beta kept moving against him and then tried to ineffectually push the man away as he felt himself get hard. The wolf shoved his leg between Stiles’ and a particularly hard jerk had the young man gasping in arousal. He thought ‘fuck it’ and stopped struggling long enough to press his hips back. Peter let out a low sound of approval and nipped at his jaw.

Stiles looked over the older man’s shoulder and stiffened. “Scott’s looking for me,” he muttered. Before he even finished the sentence Peter had disappeared into the crowd. Now he was left panting against the wall with a raging boner and a very confused friend coming toward him.

“Stiles, you okay? You look sick, do you want to leave?” Stiles could fill whole terabytes with tales of his best friend’s adventures in oblivious.

“Yeah, just give me a moment. I think I need to use the bathroom.” As he walked toward the men’s room Stiles resolved to think of breasts while he was jerking off, beautiful plump breasts. Needless to say, he was rather aggravated as they left. The last thought Stiles had before cleaning up and leaving the stall was a pair of lips stretched in a perpetual smirk.

* * *

Plus One – Meet the Parents

Stiles never thought it would be a human that got the jump on him. He was so used to supernatural creatures that he’d forgotten about the human ones; that, and the tendency to partially tune his dad out when he talked about cases that didn’t involve his werewolves. After a meeting at Derek’s, he walked into the house while it was still dark. The moment the man jumped out of the shadows and hit him across the head Stiles thought, _“Gee Dad, I found your serial rapist.”_

Stiles didn’t have much longer to think about his predicament as he was dragged up the stairs to his room. The man threw him on his bed and Stiles immediately kicked and screamed as his assailant tried to rip his shirt off.  The next thing he heard was a snarl that drove a chill of ice through his veins and the man toppled over onto the floor. “Peter!” Stiles watched as the wolf roughly kneeled on the man’s back to keep him down. He could see it was taking the older man a great measure of restraint not to rip into him despite the fact the attacker was already unconscious.

Stiles jumped off the bed and ran into his father’s room to get his spare set of handcuffs. He tossed them at the former alpha as he asked, “Why didn’t you kill him? Or for that matter use your claws?” The young man was curious; Peter didn’t exactly strike him as merciful.

The older man looked at him like he was dumb. “I think it wouldn’t end well for either of us if I had ripped him to shreds in your bedroom. And despite what my nephew thinks I don’t want to draw any more attention to us as far as hunters are concerned.”

“Argh, how am I going to explain this? There is a BAU team camped out at dad’s station. I already feel like the youngest agent knows something weird is up with me because he keeps giving me these funny looks. It’s not like I can exactly tell them any sort of good reason that you were here.”

“Really Stiles? The thing closest to the truth is best. I dropped by to return a book Isaac borrowed and rushed inside when I heard a struggle.” The older man grabbed a book off of his shelf. “Call your father,” he said as he went out the open window. Stiles cringed as he heard Peter drop the book on the porch and bust the front door open. Picking up his cell he infused his voice with as much panic as he could muster. Regardless of everything he had been through in the last year it wasn’t hard to fake. When he put down the phone Peter was sitting on the bed next to him. He was regarding the young man with something akin to mystification.

The teen supposed this was some sort of turning point and that it was now or never. “Thanks for saving my life.” Stiles leaned forward and kissed him chastely on the lips. He pulled back and almost laughed at the surprised look on Peter’s face. He liked that look, so he did it again. This time Stiles licked at the older man’s lips and made a noise of approval when Peter’s mouth opened and he responded in kind. Hesitantly, both of them moved closer, the wolf’s hand coming down to rest tentatively on Stiles’ knee. The teen stroked his tongue over the soft palate of the former alpha’s mouth and his hand came up to run through Peter’s hair. The moan he let out was the wolf’s undoing. Peter snaked his arm around Stiles' waist and pulled the young man into his lap. His other arm clutched his shoulders and drew them closer. The kiss deepened until they were both gasping for breath. Stiles heard sirens in the distance drawing nearer. “I think we better stop.” He chuckled, “Especially since there is an unconscious dude at our feet and I don’t think you want meet my father this way.”

Peter laughed. “Go downstairs and greet the cavalry, I’ll stay with him.”

Minutes later Peter was greeted by the Sheriff, who shook his hand vigorously and thanked him for saving his boy. Then the professional mask came on and he was convinced that the teen got his keen observational skills from his father. Papa Stilinski didn’t say anything, but the wolf knew the older man hadn’t bought a single word of the ‘I just happened by’ story, but the sheriff let it pass like all the other unexplained things that had occurred around his son recently. Stiles was also correct about the profilers that showed up a moment later. They were just a bit too keen and had him itching to lope off into the night.

At the end of the ordeal when all questions had been answered, statements signed and assurances of justice made, Peter took a moment to sidle up to the young man before leaving. “So that was fun. Want to have some more at my apartment tomorrow?”

"Dude. That is very unsubtle coming from you. You’re losing your touch. And the answer is no.” The young man grinned at him.

“No?” Peter raised his eyebrow in askance.

Stiles shot him a mischievous look. “I don’t put out that easily. We are going on a real date with real appointed meeting times and all that stuff. No more of these sneaky pseudo dates where you show up and hijack my plans.”

"And that is how it is going to be?” The older man asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

“Yes.”

  


**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help myself, they just kind of snuck in there. Oh, and there may be a sequel but don't hold your breath. I have been a bit slow on the creative front recently. I don't want anyone to die of asphyxiation.
> 
> Since mapanda guessed correctly, here are all the references in detail on my [tumblr](http://bonesandchekov.tumblr.com/post/116411067002/ill-not-be-a-gentleman-steter)


End file.
